I absolutely love when the coffee maker, right before it’s done, purrs like a pleased kitten lying on it’s back in complete trust. The familiar aromas filling the kitchen promising a new day has come. There’s a secrete message in the steam that’s slowly dancing from the hot cup. It’s easily forgotten in the daily morning rush and the very thought of the obligations waiting. However, in a still moment a remainder, as the sun has set and again arised, it’s a blank page. It is the very most perfect time to seize all of the possibilities that a new day holds.
I’ve never been able to trust that there’s a time and place for everything. Nonetheless I believe it to be true, I find it terrifying to give in and let go of things that are out my control. I seem to desperately, in vain, still reach for it. Many times I tend to stay hurt simply because I know it well. I’ve held hands with demons in the dark, it feels safe, they know me by now. Sleepless nights with wandering emotions and thoughts has awoken creativity. I feel it as a tingle in my finger tips and does my walking steps suddenly need to go faster, bigger? I have longed for it, worrying I’d scared it away, maybe even lost it forever. My dramatic way of thinking is on point.
I’m opening my heart with full power as if my chest could reach the sky. Allowing all senses to continue staying activated. Memories and moments making my inner shatter as well as gratitude heats and fills me, I indeed feel that too. Could it be that I should observe what’s happening, instead of struggling to alter? Perhaps instead of fearing that I will cut myself by touching the broken pieces, I should carefully choose the ones to I want to keep. To rebuild, this time with a learnt lesson, a little wiser. I can’t change what’s happened nor should I allow it to paint me all over with a brush dipped in colours that aren’t mine.
I sip on my coffee determined to let myself follow this through, it’s clearly waiting for me to do something about it. I’m ready to embrace it.
Good morning, let the day begin.